What The Unconscious Spender Is Up Against

Unconscious spending is what keeps many of us stuck in the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle.

The sad truth is, by definition, most of us who fall into this trap don't even realize what's going on.

We're practically programmed by ads, influencers, social pressures, and society in general to view money itself as a spending ticket and spend it away as soon as we get it.

I've noticed this can be caused by several different mindset developments: viewing money as evil (so people feel guilty when they have excess cash), viewing money as scarce (so people feel the need to spend it before it leaves their account, fearing they won't know when they'll see the next dollar), or even viewing money as something that's meant to be used to consume (consumer culture has created an army of unconscious spenders who don't know any different and seem to believe it's normal and okay since everyone else is doing it).

At the end of the day, most of us are simply unaware of any other way to view money. We've grown up in an environment or around people who have shaped our core beliefs about money, not realizing those beliefs are the very thing making life more financially turbulent and difficult.

The simple truth? Money is just a tool society uses to exchange labor and goods. That's pretty much it fundamentally. It's not good or bad. It's better than the old barter system so I’m okay with it lol.

But here's the thing I've learned: No one will ever care more about your financial situation than you will. In fact, many people will try to brainwash you to view money how they view it without caring about your specific situation or the consequences it might bring.

For example, hanging out around people who are excessive spenders and like to go out and spend lots of money to have fun will almost always mean you'll have to do the same to stay in that friend group.

By not doing the same activities or keeping up with them financially, they'll see you as not liking them or wanting to hang out.

They won't care about the underlying issues, like maybe you're trying to get your money organized and in a better situation so you don't have to work yourself to death 24/7 making money.

Most don't care about the future or what your long-term goals are if they don't benefit them. So instead of supporting you, they'll likely talk negatively about what you're doing and try to pressure you to cave.

It's for this reason that anyone going on the financial growth journey is fighting an uphill battle. You've got social pressures to overcome, societal pressure to overcome, constant ad spend programmed to influence you to spend money, and of course your own desires of what you want out of life.

It's a lot to deal with, and it's no wonder most of us struggle to hold on to any of our money with all these different pressures influencing us to make financial decisions that aren't in our best interest.

But here's the thing that many of us don't realize until it's too late: Spending money to try and impress others is a huge mistake.

Based on the people I've talked with over the years, many don't seem to realize this until they're in their 40s or so, once the friends they thought were there for life disappear or, even worse, end up in difficult situations due to years of poor decision-making.

You really have to build a special mindset to overcome many of these pressures.

Something I call the CEO mindset.

Again, you are the only one who will ever care about your money more than anyone else. That's something you've got to remind yourself of often. Not in the sense of telling people to change financially themselves (because they won't if they're not ready), but more in the sense of saying no to things that don't fit your life goals and ambitions and being okay with whatever comes out of that. That's also why the money game can feel like more of a spiritual game at times too.

This isn't about the money itself. It's about your life. Controlling your money in a positive way means taking control of the direction of your life. That's what this is really about.

I mean, think about it - we all work for money in exchange for our time at work. Our time is the most precious resource we have. We are never getting any of it back.

So naturally, if we are selling our time for money, we'd better make sure we are being smart with the money we make so we can get to a point where we don't have to keep selling our time for money forever. At least that's the way I view it.

It's pretty clear to me. I don't want another person being able to tell me what to do or what to work on. I want to work on what I want to work on and spend time with the people I want to spend time with. And in order to do that, I've got to start with being smarter about how I'm managing my financial resources since, in a way, that's directly linked to my time and freedom.

To me, the first step is setting powerful financial goals for yourself that you're eager to achieve. Maybe it's buying a home in the next few years, or getting your money better organized to have a kid and build a stable household, or maybe starting your own business based on a skill or hobby you have so you can work on stuff you love and get paid for it.

The point is this: taking control of your finances will allow you to set yourself up to make the bigger goals you might have a reality.

It's literally the fundamental piece that many people overlook or roll their eyes at. Why? Because it's hard. It's not easy in the beginning. Nothing worth doing is though. If managing money and learning financial skills were easy, we'd have a lot fewer people living paycheck to paycheck and a lot fewer people in piles of debt.

But it's hard. For another big reason I've realized: It requires being able to delay gratification.

We are pretty much hardwired as humans to seek instant gratification. It's an evolutionary development in a way. Think about it. The early humans who were hunters and gatherers didn't always know when their next meal would come. When they found food, it was the people who ate it as fast as possible who survived and thrived. The people who didn't have that urgency tended to get weeded out.

But now in the modern age, the opposite is true. With the abundance of food and entertainment, it's no longer in your best interest to seek instant gratification. In fact, that's what causes many of us to end up in distraction spirals (and what companies take advantage of to extract your money).

The person who can take control of their life and avoid distractions and delay gratification is actually at a much higher advantage in the modern world since they can take time to process the complexity of the modern system and make strategic moves to get more reward in the future.

Take the famous marshmallow experiment for example. Researchers put a marshmallow in front of children and told them they could either eat it now, or if they waited 15 minutes without eating it, they'd get two marshmallows. The kids who were able to wait for the second marshmallow ended up being more successful later in life - better test scores, higher educational achievements, and even better financial outcomes. Why? Because they developed that crucial skill of delayed gratification early on.

Here's the bottom line: Your relationship with money isn't just about the dollars themselves. It's about your ability to play the long game. It's about building the muscle to say no to immediate pleasures for bigger future rewards.

The good news? Just like any muscle, you can strengthen your ability to delay gratification through practice. Start small and stay consistent. Aim to align your financial decisions with your long-term vision rather than your short-term desires. That's when the real wealth-building becomes possible.

Want to put these insights into action? I've created a complete financial system called Money Mastery that helps you build these exact habits and mindsets. Tap here to learn more.